The depraved mind of Cartman, aka lawdog, aka Uncle Normie
"Cartman" aka "Lawdog" aka "Uncle Normie" would have you go to his infamous blog so you can get a good load of his deranged blatherings. However, before you do that you might want to look at what he has posted on pcmholdings.com so that you are well prepared for what he has in store for you on the blog he is trying to lure you to with the link he posted in his message below.
Then if you can stomach that you will be well prepared for the rest of what flows incessantly from his sick and perverted mind. That is just the way debt collectors are. Sick and perverted people who scorn all whom they come in contact with. Enjoy and remember what you read here if you are ever so unfortunate as to be contacted by one of these sickos.
Billie Bauer Creditwrench
PCM Holdings.com Forums : Off Topic Discussions
Posted: April 27 2005 at 10:06pm | IP Logged
He continued to sit there in anticipation of the next phone call from a bill collector. Who would it be next, someone calling in reference to Home Depo, Arrow Financial or maybe Citibank? He owed them all money..
The tension in the air was electrifying. The prospect of another debt collector calling him and asking him to pay his bill was almost overwhelming.
Suddenly he notices a large run in his fish-net stockings. He gasps in despair.
The phone rings…
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Lawdog
Advanced Member
Joined: March 23 2005
Location: United States
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 357
Posted: April 28 2005 at 6:23am
Caller ID- US GOVT DOJ
Phil answered the phone as MayMay69 "Hello" bad falsetto.
The voice sounded serious, deep baritone, "I am calling for a Mr. Phil Hower".
"This is MayMay, Phil isn't here" Phil's MayMay voice cracking on the last syllable.
"That's fine Ms MayMay, I was confirming this is a number where he can be reached, Thank you."
"MayMay" logged the recorded call and began to fuss with the run on "her" stocking. The monitor went dark and the only light in the room was the reservation cigarette dangling from "MayMay's" lip. The glow began to bounce in the room as "MayMay" began to dance and sing "Like a virgin....like a vi-ir-ir-ir-irgin...........
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Joined: March 23 2005
Location: United States
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 357
Spinning through the dark dingy center of his/her empire, MayMay began to woolgather thinking of a wonderful time at a special cantina in ole Mexico.
1974 Tijuana
The shrill feedback shocked the senses and rattled the acrid smoky air of the old bar in the crappier section of TJ. “Testes Testes Uno Dos Tres” said a short man in the center of the stage, mildewed torn curtains behind him, micorphone stand 3 feet off the stage,.“Buenos noches amigos” said the MC a dwarf with a club foot wearing a suit he should have abandoned 20 pounds ago. “Hwelcome to our chow” He grinned a piece of spinach lodged in his yellow bicuspid , his full slicked back hair radiant with the spotlights, “ Tonight our Chow ees called “The Bride of the Burrrrrro”
The donkey’s brays could be heard back stage, but it was the sheep’s bah that drew Phil’s attention.
“Hwe need a volunteer amigos to romance DULCITA! At that the spotlight shown on a young lamb wearing a push up bra and “Hanes for Her” probably purchased at a store for muchachas grandes.
Phil was drunk enough and the lamb looked hot, what the hell he thought and throwing caution to the wind he arose and walked toward the stage as a group of sailors on shore leave began to chant “Do It!”
The poor innocent lamb took one look at the lecherous vile man staggering towards her.
She jumped down from the stage and over a few tables and got away. The burro did the same.. only before galloping out of the area to freedom, he placed one good kick to the back of the MC.. knocking him down and out. And as he passed by he managed to nudge the ugly disgusting degenerate of a man that was attempting to stop the unfortunate burro from fleeing.
The sick, depraved old man got back onto his feet, and as he did, he pulled out an ancient antique of a gun that looked as though it may have been use in the Civil War. Onto the gun was etched his name CREDITHAMMER. And as he raised the gun, he took aim at the poor defenseless burro, and shot him dead. The Burro fell to the ground and breathed his last breath. The despicable man proceeded to run after the terrified lamb. He managed to get off two shots before stumbling to the ground. Where bystanders raced forward and began to kick him and hit him with sticks.
Suddenly, the lamb found herself standing in front of St Peter at the gates of Heaven. She asked St Peter what happened and where was she. She told St Peter that the last thing that she remembered was running from an old ugly evil man. She heard shots fired and felt a big bang in her head. St Peter smiled at the poor creature and said “My dear sweet one, you are in heaven. And you have family and many friends here, including a Burro who just recently arrived and was asking about you.”
The lamb started to cry. She asked St Peter “What about that crazy old man that killed me? Can he chase after me here?” St Peter smiled and said “Have not fear my sweet one. Of this I can assure you, that old fool will not be approaching these gates.
Stumbling out the rank saloon, Phil steadied himself if only to avoid the rain of fists that would befall him if he neared the sailors. The room which previously smelled of sweat, beer, cigarettes, despair, cheap perfume, and livestock now reeked in a twisted potpourri of the previous now spiced with gore and cordite. (Ed Note- Foxy what a twist)
Death awaited the depraved pervert if he stayed a moment longer. His breath smelled like a jet of Binaca sheep scent. A toothless old prostitute spat at his face which only made him grin. He loved this town. His desires unsated he entered an S and M bar next door. "La Painadoria"
Inside a butch bull dike with a leather Nazi officer cap sneered as he entered his eyes now adjusting to the low light. Suspended from the ceiling by his nipples pierced by talons a la Richard Harris in "A Man Called Horse", hung a young man of Phillipino descent spinning in slow arcs. Ordering a cheap beer from a one-eyed waitress, Phil got comfortable and took in the spectacle around him
Then if you can stomach that you will be well prepared for the rest of what flows incessantly from his sick and perverted mind. That is just the way debt collectors are. Sick and perverted people who scorn all whom they come in contact with. Enjoy and remember what you read here if you are ever so unfortunate as to be contacted by one of these sickos.
Billie Bauer Creditwrench
Reply |
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PCM Holdings.com Forums : Off Topic Discussions
Posted: April 27 2005 at 10:06pm | IP Logged
He continued to sit there in anticipation of the next phone call from a bill collector. Who would it be next, someone calling in reference to Home Depo, Arrow Financial or maybe Citibank? He owed them all money..
The tension in the air was electrifying. The prospect of another debt collector calling him and asking him to pay his bill was almost overwhelming.
Suddenly he notices a large run in his fish-net stockings. He gasps in despair.
The phone rings…
Back to Top
Lawdog
Advanced Member
Joined: March 23 2005
Location: United States
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 357
Posted: April 28 2005 at 6:23am
Caller ID- US GOVT DOJ
Phil answered the phone as MayMay69 "Hello" bad falsetto.
The voice sounded serious, deep baritone, "I am calling for a Mr. Phil Hower".
"This is MayMay, Phil isn't here" Phil's MayMay voice cracking on the last syllable.
"That's fine Ms MayMay, I was confirming this is a number where he can be reached, Thank you."
"MayMay" logged the recorded call and began to fuss with the run on "her" stocking. The monitor went dark and the only light in the room was the reservation cigarette dangling from "MayMay's" lip. The glow began to bounce in the room as "MayMay" began to dance and sing "Like a virgin....like a vi-ir-ir-ir-irgin...........
Back to Top
Joined: March 23 2005
Location: United States
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 357
Spinning through the dark dingy center of his/her empire, MayMay began to woolgather thinking of a wonderful time at a special cantina in ole Mexico.
1974 Tijuana
The shrill feedback shocked the senses and rattled the acrid smoky air of the old bar in the crappier section of TJ. “Testes Testes Uno Dos Tres” said a short man in the center of the stage, mildewed torn curtains behind him, micorphone stand 3 feet off the stage,.“Buenos noches amigos” said the MC a dwarf with a club foot wearing a suit he should have abandoned 20 pounds ago. “Hwelcome to our chow” He grinned a piece of spinach lodged in his yellow bicuspid , his full slicked back hair radiant with the spotlights, “ Tonight our Chow ees called “The Bride of the Burrrrrro”
The donkey’s brays could be heard back stage, but it was the sheep’s bah that drew Phil’s attention.
“Hwe need a volunteer amigos to romance DULCITA! At that the spotlight shown on a young lamb wearing a push up bra and “Hanes for Her” probably purchased at a store for muchachas grandes.
Phil was drunk enough and the lamb looked hot, what the hell he thought and throwing caution to the wind he arose and walked toward the stage as a group of sailors on shore leave began to chant “Do It!”
The poor innocent lamb took one look at the lecherous vile man staggering towards her.
She jumped down from the stage and over a few tables and got away. The burro did the same.. only before galloping out of the area to freedom, he placed one good kick to the back of the MC.. knocking him down and out. And as he passed by he managed to nudge the ugly disgusting degenerate of a man that was attempting to stop the unfortunate burro from fleeing.
The sick, depraved old man got back onto his feet, and as he did, he pulled out an ancient antique of a gun that looked as though it may have been use in the Civil War. Onto the gun was etched his name CREDITHAMMER. And as he raised the gun, he took aim at the poor defenseless burro, and shot him dead. The Burro fell to the ground and breathed his last breath. The despicable man proceeded to run after the terrified lamb. He managed to get off two shots before stumbling to the ground. Where bystanders raced forward and began to kick him and hit him with sticks.
Suddenly, the lamb found herself standing in front of St Peter at the gates of Heaven. She asked St Peter what happened and where was she. She told St Peter that the last thing that she remembered was running from an old ugly evil man. She heard shots fired and felt a big bang in her head. St Peter smiled at the poor creature and said “My dear sweet one, you are in heaven. And you have family and many friends here, including a Burro who just recently arrived and was asking about you.”
The lamb started to cry. She asked St Peter “What about that crazy old man that killed me? Can he chase after me here?” St Peter smiled and said “Have not fear my sweet one. Of this I can assure you, that old fool will not be approaching these gates.
Stumbling out the rank saloon, Phil steadied himself if only to avoid the rain of fists that would befall him if he neared the sailors. The room which previously smelled of sweat, beer, cigarettes, despair, cheap perfume, and livestock now reeked in a twisted potpourri of the previous now spiced with gore and cordite. (Ed Note- Foxy what a twist)
Death awaited the depraved pervert if he stayed a moment longer. His breath smelled like a jet of Binaca sheep scent. A toothless old prostitute spat at his face which only made him grin. He loved this town. His desires unsated he entered an S and M bar next door. "La Painadoria"
Inside a butch bull dike with a leather Nazi officer cap sneered as he entered his eyes now adjusting to the low light. Suspended from the ceiling by his nipples pierced by talons a la Richard Harris in "A Man Called Horse", hung a young man of Phillipino descent spinning in slow arcs. Ordering a cheap beer from a one-eyed waitress, Phil got comfortable and took in the spectacle around him
posted by Creditwrench at 6:40 PM
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