Tuesday, May 03, 2005

PCMHOLDINGS and the mad, mad debt collector.

The PCMHOLDINGS FORUM
Today I am bringing you a small sample of the mad ravings "concerned citizen" puts on his message forum, PCMHOLDINGS.COM and to which he tries to lure the unsuspecting.

Concerned Citizen is obviously a mainiac and easily capable of far more depraved actions than even Michael Jackson is currently on trial for purportedly having done. He is a danger to society and obviously a cyberstalker.

Hang on to your hats and fasten your seat belts because this one is going to be a wild ride indeed. Here is a very small part of a "story" he wrote on pcmholdings.com and desperately wants you to go read all about his great work as an author.

Spinning through the dark dingy center of his/her empire, MayMay began to woolgather thinking of a wonderful time at a special cantina in ole Mexico.

1974 Tijuana

The shrill feedback shocked the senses and rattled the acrid smoky air of the old bar in the crappier section of TJ. “Testes Testes Uno Dos Tres” said a short man in the center of the stage, mildewed torn curtains behind him, micorphone stand 3 feet off the stage,.“Buenos noches amigos” said the MC a dwarf with a club foot wearing a suit he should have abandoned 20 pounds ago. “Hwelcome to our chow” He grinned a piece of spinach lodged in his yellow bicuspid , his full slicked back hair radiant with the spotlights, “ Tonight our Chow ees called “The Bride of the Burrrrrro”

The donkey’s brays could be heard back stage, but it was the sheep’s bah that drew Phil’s attention.

“Hwe need a volunteer amigos to romance DULCITA! At that the spotlight shown on a young lamb wearing a push up bra and “Hanes for Her” probably purchased at a store for muchachas grandes.

Phil was drunk enough and the lamb looked hot, what the hell he thought and throwing caution to the wind he arose and walked toward the stage as a group of sailors on shore leave began to chant “Do It!”

Stumbling out the rank saloon, Phil steadied himself if only to avoid the rain of fists that would befall him if he neared the sailors. The room which previously smelled of sweat, beer, cigarettes, despair, cheap perfume, and livestock now reeked in a twisted potpourri of the previous now spiced with gore and cordite. (Ed Note- Foxy what a twist)

Death awaited the depraved pervert if he stayed a moment longer. His breath smelled like a jet of Binaca sheep scent. A toothless old prostitute spat at his face which only made him grin. He loved this town. His desires unsated he entered an S and M bar next door. "La Painadoria"

Inside a butch bull dike with a leather Nazi officer cap sneered as he entered his eyes now adjusting to the low light. Suspended from the ceiling by his nipples pierced by talons a la Richard Harris in "A Man Called Horse", hung a young man of Phillipino descent spinning in slow arcs. Ordering a cheap beer from a one-eyed waitress, Phil got comfortable and took in the spectacle around him.

CREDITHAMMER relaxed as he took in the scenery. He wasn’t aware of the sailor who had walked in a few minutes later.

The Sailors had watched him as he sulked away from the cantina and snuck into the LaPainadoria. They were talking about what they would like to do with the mean old fool when a young sailor had arrived late on the sceen. He was late, but his buddies filled him in on what had happened.

The particular sailor was from Northern California.

He grew up on a farm which raised sheep for their wool. He had many a lamb as a pet.. He considered them friends. He loved animals and detested the idea of anyone mistreating them. It broke his heart when they told him what had happened.

He was happy to hear that the burro had managed to knock out the MC and push CREDITHAMMER down, before CREDITHAMMER had shot him to death. He swelled with pride for the burro.

He despised the cruel man who had shot the burro and the lamb. He loathed CREDITHAMMER for everything that he represented.. He wanted to revenge the horrible death of the two poor innocent animals.

He was enraged.

The sailor thought that his buddies had described the brutal old man well. He spotted him immediately, snickering over a drink and laughing at something. The ‘something’ was a poor helpless young man who was suspended from the ceiling and spinning in low arcs. He could not believe his eyes as he realized that the young man had talons hooked into his flesh. The young man was desperately pleading for someone to help him.

The sailor immediately jumped onto the bar and with his Swiss army knife swiftly cut the young man down. The young man fell to the ground and cried “Thank you. Thank you.. these freaks are crazy.. help me.. help me.. please help me get out of here”. The sailor was in the process of helping the young man up and telling him that everything was going to be okay, when all of a sudden the bull dike with the Nazi officer cap approached them and said “What the hell do you think you’re doing here”?

The sailor could not bear the sight of the bull dike with the Nazi cap. He could care less about her sexual preference, but he would not tolerate anyone wearing a Nazi cap. He had read “Ann Frank” several times while at school, and had great sympathy for all of those who had suffered at the hands of the hateful Nazis. He walked toward her and quickly grabbed the cap off of her head and tore into pieces, and threw them into her face.

The woman shocked.. started screaming obscenities and proceeded to lash out with her big fists in a futile attempt to beat up the sailor. The young man who was cowering behind the sailor had started to scream. The sailor pushed the big woman down and picked up the young man and ran out of the bar with him.

Throughout it all the vile CREDITHAMMER sat in audience. He was thoroughly disgusted with the sailor for interrupting his fun and spoiling what his sick mind considered to be his entertainment.

But some freak intuition of his own told him that he had lucked out.. told him that the sailor had actually come into the bar for him.. told him that if it had not been for the sailor’s timely rescue of the poor tortured soul suspended from the ceiling, it would have been he himself who would have been carried out of the bar.

He was moping about the unbelievable bad luck he was having that day, as he crept out of the bar of ill repute..

The phone rang, bringing him back to the present. Still dressed as MayMay69 Phil couldn't pick up the phone. 6000 visits to his website and not one sale. These idiots didn't know what was good for them. Pensively, he looked up the blog of his arch Nemesis, C. Tormis. Filled with a combination of dread he waved his arms above his head dreamily, like Bette Davis in "What Ever Happened to Baby Jane?" Dancing around the room he turned on his VCR. Richard Simmonds was flouncing and dancing with a crew of whalish housewives. An idea brought forth its own genisis in the surviving neurons in his cranium. "That's it!" "The Credithammer DVD!" He envisioned himself on commercials like the guy that wears the suits with question marks like the Riddler that sells books on getting government grants. I will make a video and at that he danced dervishly like Richard Simmons on amphetimines.

__________________
"Have I mentioned before that I am surrounded by idiots? Let me cut to chase and just tell you up front: the CREDITWRENCH students"

But before I can begin production, Phil proclaimed, I must continue to try and find all the newsgroup postings about me and respond to them like I did yesterday here. Rats, more people finding out the truth about me.

CREDITHAMMER searched stealthily through all of the newsgroup

postings and responded to them as quickly as possible..

He hated C. Toris with every fiber of his being. He couldn’t help the tears that were falling from his eyes and messing up his cheap mascara. As he wiped away the tears, he thought.. “Darn, This guy is going to put me out of business! How can I scam unsuspecting people.. and rip them off with my mis-informed credit advice, when C. Toris is telling them THE TRUTH about me? And how am I gonna get any money from these gullible and trusting people with my fire scam, when C. Toris tells everyone THE TRUTH about it all being a bogus ploy to pilfer money from them"?

CREDITHAMMER resigned himself to yet another task of systematically typing ridiculous and irrationable responses, hoping to salvage himself another "student"..

"I shall spite them with my mighty hammer" Phil in his best Charlton Heston voice,

He climbed into the Ford Pinto, avoiding jagged metal and peeling faux wood trim. He was on his way to Best Buys with one of his two remaining lines of credit. His Mowes card long since toast, but he had that secured Cap One card and a man on a mission would get some fancy AV equipment and voice recognition software with that Best Buy plastic. He envisioned the CreditHammer(TM) program with his face as the spokesman as being a surefire hit. MayMay69, Jeffe, Wagg, and Goosegow1 would certainly want to be in the film. That Jeffe needed to be on a shorter tether by cracky, Phil was alarmed by the Jeffe since he started getting instructions directly from God spoken to him through cats. Entirely different matter.

He pulled in to the first handicapped spot. Not that he was incumbered in any way, he just didn't give a crap. He grinned big thinking of what was to come.
_________________________________________________________________________________

That and a whole manure spreader load of such tripe is what you will find if you go to the pcmholdings forum which is the hangout of the great "concerned citizen" AKA lawdog and dozens of other fake names.

This is just a very small example of the mad, mad mind of "Concerned Citizen".

And he wants to spam everybody into going to his forum and his blog so he can treat you to more of the same.

LOL

Is this cybersmearing or what?

You be the judge.